One CEO Gets Real About How Divorce Impacted His Job
Numerous studies have been published recently revealing that a CEO’s job is terribly lonely.
That isolation is especially apparent when a corporate or personal crisis erupts. As one CEO once said to me, there’s only one chair in the whole organization that’s like yours. If you show any sense of panic or insecurity, it affects everyone down below.
Recently, have started to talk with CEOs about this isolation. Being a leader is a unique job with amazing benefits, but it can also be very conflicting and confusing. You’re required to be strong, even if you’re feeling just as scared as everyone else. You’re also required to have all the answers, even when likely you don’t. If you show one ounce of fear, you’re instantly less credible.
The discussions with various leaders have turned into “Radiate Reality” stories that we’re sharing with others. The latest story comes from a young CEO of a private equity firm who said his divorce was absolutely devastating, but he couldn’t talk about it.
“I think about people in my office, especially men, who have gone through divorce and people in the beginning are very sympathetic. They give them space. But after a short while everyone moves on and they have less sympathy if that person is not doing great work or making poor decisions,” he said. “It really didn’t hit home how we were treating these people until I went through my own divorce. It was shocking and I kept the news about it secret for a long time. I suffered in silence. And I look back and realize I made wrong decisions because I was emotionally spent.”
“I wouldn’t fire someone that needed to be fired because I couldn’t handle more emotional drama. I made some questionable professional decisions that in hindsight, were influenced by the divorce and that if there was a culture of accommodation around the trauma, I might not have made them.”
He noted how when he did finally tell people, the reaction was less than sympathetic. Many assumed he’d be happy to be single again.
“Divorce is tragic. People are more judgmental about it, they don’t treat you the same way if you had, say, cancer or another type of personal or family tragedy. You’re expected to just move on, especially the men and that can lead to depression, substance abuse issues and other bad decisions.”
What he described spoke to a larger issue: how to deal with personal crises in the workplace. Many companies are ill-equipped to handle a tragedy such as when an employee is diagnosed with cancer or a colleague dies. Oftentimes, these situations are swept under the rug or colleagues feel it’s forbidden to discuss.
The result is more isolation, not just for leaders, but for anyone going through a difficult time. As this CEO found out quickly, it’s not enough to offer a box of tissues and a sympathetic ear, companies have to cultivate a much more open culture of empathy. Having that support could do wonders for the person–and the company at large.
Read the insightful article here: http://www.inc.com/betty-liu/one-ceo-gets-real-about-divorce-and-the-impact-on-his-job.html